A good Sunday morning to everyone.
It’s been a long time since I have sat at these keys to connect with you. A long time. Days, weeks, and months have passed. Seasons have changed. Worlds have changed. Time, though asked repetitively, continued his interminable step.
I, somehow, found a crack, a mere tear in the cosmos, and I accidentally slipped through it. I am just now finding my way back.
There are times during our lives when we think the world is about us. Then we grow up and realize the childish foolishness of that notion. We sagely nod and agree, whether we like it or not…we are such tiny dots in the stratosphere that we are not sure if we even register a microdot on life’s radar.
You truly realize this when a catastrophic life event hits. Poor health, a loss, finances, you name it, and it can happen. You hate it; you really do, when these things happen to someone else. What a shame, you think, and you roll up your sleeves and try to help, or you slightly turn your head, thankful that it was not you. You might even take the slightest side step, in case proximity might reach over and drag you into the mire, depending upon the type of person you are.
But when it’s you…
That is when you beg God, Time, the cosmos, somebody or something, to stop. Stop. Stop the world from its incessant whirl on its axis because you cannot keep up. You cannot deal; you cannot-breathe.
But it doesn’t.
And that is when you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are so tiny that you did not even cause a blip on life’s radar.
But do not, I repeat, do not…be fooled. None of that is true.
You matter. You really do matter, and you are never so tiny that you did not create that blip on life’s radar, because…you did. You may never know it, but you did-because someone was watching.
Everything you do, matters. What you say, matters. How you live and respond to that living, matters. Because no matter who you are or where you are, someone watched. You may never know who it was, but I can tell you now, it made a difference. For the greater good or negatively, it registered with someone and it mattered.
So make it count.
Last year, I lost my mother. Oh, I am so sorry, you murmur, and you mean it. But this was my catastrophic moment. I lost so much more. Oh, so much more. I lost my best friend, my touchstone, my cornerstone, my rock, my person to talk to, the person who understood me when no would else wanted to…and so on.
I went through the motions for that first year of loss. That’s what you do. I wrote a book about it; The Long Road Home. It tells my mother’s story when she could not tell it herself; she had Alzheimer’s and could not tell you who she was, let alone her story. I lost her before her death as she not only failed to know who I was, she feared and despised me. I hope that in reading it, it can help those of you who are dealing with an issue; dementia, illness, or loss. For those who have family members in some like situation, or perhaps you are the caregiver and you feel like you are the lone survivor on the Island of Misfit Toys and you cannot leave-my hope is that this will help you, as you are never alone.
And you matter.
My mother never thought much about herself. She thought she was lower in intelligence than she wanted to be. She never, ever realized or understood the impact that she had on those who knew her.
She never realized that she mattered, or how much she mattered.
She did not realize how many of us were watching her. And her ripple on our surfaces was so great that I have lost the ability to follow them with my eyes. They are infinite.
And so will be yours.
So know, always know, that someone is hearing what you have to say, or someone is watching how you handle life, or someone is having a bad day and sees your smile as you walk through the day. Whatever it is, please know and never forget-you matter, for someone is watching you and will pass bits of you on through life.
Make it matter.
The Long Road Home https://www.amazon.com/dp/1545272964/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_XMgRzb8NA9V18